Tuesday, 14 September 2010

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Cheryl Cole: I'm frightened of my mind at night

X Factor judge Cheryl Cole is suffering in silence

Cheryl Cole's decree nisi in her divorce from Ashley Cole has now been granted

Cheryl Cole is not coping with her divorce from love rat Ashley Cole or the pressure of constantly being in the public eye as well as we might think.

She puts on a cheery exterior but Cheryl - who has never slept more than 4 hours a night - lays awake in the early hours in turmoil.

‘It feels safe when everybody else is awake,' she says.

‘See, night-time, that's when my brain starts ticking over.  I'm frightened of my mind at night.

‘I find myself racing, racing, racing, talking nonsense to myself.'

Cheryl, 27, is trying to banish her anxiety and find inner calm through meditation.

'Recently I've been trying meditation,' she tells Vogue, 'but I can't really seem to get it.

'My mother does it, and I really think that actually may be the way forward for me, but the thoughts keep coming in.

'Always. How do you stop them coming in?'

PHOTO GALLERY Derek Hough's story in pictures>>

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Nathalie Whittle