Tuesday, 22 December 2009

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E! Exclusive: Chelsea Lately hot list

The Sharpest tongue in Hollywood – only in Now!

‘Mistress' misses out

A US magazine recently had an exclusive interview with Tiger Woods' alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel.

The cover said ‘My side of the story', so I naturally assumed she'd talk about the alleged affair (for the record, I'm sick of saying ‘alleged', but they make me). But she didn't say anything about Tiger.

She said she's not a villain; she won't talk about who she leans on; and that she likes Twilight - all information that no one cares about.

I did learn something from the article, though: she made a bad decision when she cancelled her press conference on 11 December.

People cared what she had to say then. But now there are so many other girls to get the details from, that ship has sailed - right along with Tiger's yacht.

Almost shameless

Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez have broken up. It's shocking to hear that - Kate seems like such a stable person. A-Rod reportedly dumped her because her ‘constant need for attention' was a turn-off.

Apparently, he hated that she always wanted camera time during his baseball games. Who didn't? If he wanted to split up with her, couldn't he have done us all the service of doing it during the baseball season so that we'd have been spared the constant photos of her in an ill-fitting Yankees jersey?

I don't know much about baseball, but even I know the season is over - because I lost $75,000 on the World Series. I predicted a tie. That's the last time I take gambling advice from a phone psychic.

Zoo-ri Cruise

When Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes took Suri to a zoo in Seville recently, they had it closed to the public so they could have it all to themselves.

That seems over the top. No one needs to have an entire zoo closed off; even Zoolander wouldn't ask for that and zoos were named after him.

Suri's favourite animals were reportedly ‘the ponies and small animals', including a baby donkey. She loved that she's taller than them - which is a big ‘f*** you' to Tom.

Nooo, Li-Lo!

Lindsay Lohan is selling some of her ‘lightly used' clothes on her family's website lohanhouse.com.

First of all, I doubt anything of hers is ‘lightly used'. Second, why would anyone want to buy anything Lindsay wore?

I'd suggest that she quit trying to sell her old clothes and donate them to a homeless shelter instead, but the last thing I want to see is a homeless woman in a pair of leopard-print leggings and cowboy boots. 

Chelsea x

 

Chelsea Lately is on E! at 10.30pm every weeknight.