Thursday, 15 October 2009

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E! Exclusive: Chelsea Lately hot list

The sharpest tongue in Hollywood – only in Now!

Don't miss Chelsea Lately on E! at 10.30pm every weeknight

Dear Mr Spears,

I'm writing to complain that you've denied my staff and me a huge source of material since you took control of your daughter Britney's life.

Do you know how easy our jobs were when she stepped into an LA barbershop at 11pm that Friday and shaved her head?

And when she attacked the paps with an umbrella, we took a half-day while the story wrote itself. Mr Spears, I respect you for getting Brit back on the straight and narrow, but is it too much to ask that you take a few days off and leave her alone with some hair shears or a zoo animal?

I just need a couple of crotch shots and maybe some petty theft so I can spend the day at the beach.

Gunning for Ange

Angelina Jolie recently took her little boy Maddox out toy shopping in France. When I heard this, I thought it was a nice, refreshing story.

Finally, amid all the rumours we hear about the Jolie-Pitts' tumultuous life, we get a nice little peek into normality: a mother and her child out at a toy store, doing some bonding.

Then the photos revealed that what she bought young Maddox was a toy dart gun. Considering he has an obvious anger problem and has even been known to call our show frequently to vent, I'm not sure that a pistol was the best toy choice.

Maybe next time they're out she should just buy him some Silly Putty and a map.

One-horse town?

In Miami, Oklahoma, a man has been charged with trying to assault police... with a horse.

Apparently, officers went to the man's home to investigate a domestic dispute and were interviewing a woman when the man in question rode up on a horse.

He then allegedly led it around the officers, trying to knock them down. Until this, Oklahoma used to be one of my favourite States. But I prefer not to go to places where you have to live like you're in a Western.

So please, someone else go there and tell them about cars

Heather foots the bill

Heather Mills just opened the first US branch of her vegan restaurant VBites in the Bronx.That seems like a really logical place for a vegan joint - maybe the next one will be in Tijuana.

She also donated $1 million in vegan food to underprivileged children. How thoughtful.

I'm sure all a bunch of kids who've grown up with nothing want is extra-firm tofu and a piece of cheese made of sunflower seeds. 

Chelsea x

Chelsea Lately is on E! at 10.30pm every week night

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