Wednesday, 2 September 2009

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E! Exclusive: Chelsea Lately hot list

The sharpest tongue in Hollywood - only in Now!

Don't miss Chelsea Lately on E! at 10.30pm

Seeing red...

Recently, I was on the red carpet at some event with the likes of George Clooney and Jennifer Aniston.

In that situation, I may as well be 40 extra pounds on Kirstie Alley - no one notices. This is when it's clear that having a cable chat show isn't as interesting as once being married to Brad Pitt or having had sex with numerous cocktail waitresses.

I know that photographers have to change the film in the camera, but it's suspicious that it happens every time I walk by.

And for the record, I can hear you when you say: ‘Chelsea who?' I'd rather have to watch every Kate Hudson film ever made than walk down a red carpet again.

Posh: who cares?

★ People ask me how we feel in the USA about Posh being a guest judge on American Idol. I'll tell you: no one cares. To us, she's boring; like the soccer of people.

The only significant thing she's done is David Beckham - and in LA you can't throw a breast implant without hitting some skinny chick who's had sex with a famous guy.

Stop asking me about her. I've had lots of things forced down my throat, but this isn't going to be one of them.

Put it away!

★ Since she lost 41lb, daytime TV host Sherri Shepherd hasn't stopped getting photographed in a bathing suit.

Here's an idea: if you drop a few dress sizes, why not show it off by putting on a f***ing dress? We all know random bathing suit appearances are the territory of my E! sister Denise Richards.

So go get yourself a nice A-line wrap dress and step off, bitch.

The hot seat

★ In Brazil, they've installed special subway seats for obese people; but apparently they're too embarrassed to use them.

If you're 550lb, just use it - it's not like we can't see you. Imagine if you're standing next to a person who should be using it and it's the only free seat...

‘No, really, you take it. And by the way, I loved you in Cheers.'

Chelsea x

Chelsea Lately is on E! at 10.30pm every weeknight.