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Russell Brand has vowed never to surf again.
The comedian tried his luck on the waves recently while in Hawaii promoting his new film Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
But Russell, 32, says the experience was far from what he expected.
'I looked ridiculous,' he tells Hello! 'It was like watching a cow smoking a pipe.
'I was so frightened. You look at the ocean and think: "Right, let's stand on that." But walking on water is bizarre and macabre.'