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Cheryl Cole has admitted that she became paranoid after being accused of racially aggravated assault in 2003.
The Girls Aloud star was convicted of punching a toilet attendant in a Guildford nightclub - but has always denied the incident was race related.
Cheryl - who was cleared of racially aggravated assault but found guilty of actual bodily harm - became desperately worried that her black pals would think she was racist.
‘I'll never live that down,’ she says.
‘I had a phobia - if I saw a black friend of mine I was massively paranoid that they would think I said those things. I wouldn't even look them in the eye. It was just the worst experience ever.’
And the the 24-year-old – who was branded a racist bully by the tabloids – says she still feels deeply upset by the whole episode.
'The thing was - it couldn't have been possibly further from what I was,’ she tells Observer Music Monthly.
‘And some of the things being written about me at the time - I was only 19. I was really disturbed for a very long time.'
The singer was ordered to undertake 120 hours of community service, pay £500 compensation to victim Sophie Amogbokpa and pay costs of £3,000.
Cheryl is now married to black footballer Ashley Cole.