Bleurgh! I can't believe Dancing On Ice's crinkly Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean are finally admitting to a kiss
Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean - yes, they WERE at it!
Now we know why you look so smug, Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean
Jane Torvill and Christopher Dean hotting up the ice. Or something.
Samia Ghadie is on this series Dancing On Ice - wonder if Torvill and Dean can give her any romantic advice?
Shayne Ward's been booted out of Dancing On Ice. Wonder if he spotted any sparks during coaching?
And this time he's - gulp - got the grisly truth on Dancing On Ice stars Torvill and Dean's romance (which was rumoured for years).
The pair admit... wait for it... ‘dabbling' with each other as teenagers.
‘Dabbling'!?!? I do NOT want to know what this ‘dabbling' consisted of. But like, no! No, no, and more no!
This revelation reminds me of Edwina Currie and John Major's affair - which only came to light years later. She revealed in her autobiography that ‘John Major was a sexy beast... Believe me, I did not have to teach that man anything. He was experienced and fun.'
There's something about an affair, which kept secret and then only revealed when the participants are drooping in all the wrong places, which makes them extra-sordid.
Piers Morgan's Life Stories will air on 8 March on ITV1, so tune in if you want to be left feeling a bit sick, like me.