Wednesday, 2 February 2011

My Big Fat Depressing Gypsy Wedding

Forget the comedy cakes and marvellous meringues, the life of a female gypsy isn't as fun as the weddings make it seem...

Traveller girls take Big Is Beautiful to the extreme

We've laughed at the dresses so insanely extravagant they'd make even Jordan blush. We've marveled at the ridiculous cakes and been shocked at the hooker chic and mullets that appear to pass for stylish in the gypsy community.

However, last night's episode of My Big Fat Gypsy Weddings didn't make me laugh, it just made me a little bit sad.

If you're a gypsy girl your life is mapped out for you. There are no career choices in fact there are no choices at all. You can't go out without permission and if you're not married by the age of 22 you're on the shelf. Girls are often taken out of school as young as 12 so they can become the housekeeper.

Instead of learning to read and write, which would give them some options in life, they are supposed to give up education and stay at home to cook, clean and look after their siblings. This only ends when they get married. So that's one day wearing an enormous dress then it's back to a lifetime of drudgery. Nice. Meanwhile, men can do whatever they like.

While I find this difficult to understand, the practice of grabbing actually appalls me. It appears to me to simply be a form sexual assault. Gypsy men dragging girls against their will to cop a feel. Even the blokes admitted they didn't think the girls enjoyed it, but that's just how it is. It's their religion. OK, so that makes it alright then does it?

Women in the gypsy community are also taught that domestic violence is their fault. 50 per cent of traveller wives experience it, yet very few ever leave their violent partners. What kind of community teaches you that you should take a beating? You can understand why most don't leave as their chances of supporting their family are slim leaving them no choice but to put up and shut up.

Up until now My Big Fat Gypsy Weddings was all a bit of a giggle and damn, those dresses and tans are funny. But take off the comedy music and ignore the mildly snobbish sniggering at home and it's all a little bit sad. If the girls are genuinely happy, then I wish them all the best, but if they're not then I wish they had the choice to pick their own future.

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