The X Factor: Call the fashion police!

Cheryl Cole makes a fashion faux pas, John and Edward annoy me as usual and Olly is my new favourite...

Cheryl Cole | Pictures | Now Magazine | Celebrity Gossip

The X Factor: Cheryl Cole suffers a wardrobe malfunction

This week I would like to begin, not by talking about the acts, rather what the HELL was Cheryl Cole wearing?

Has Sinitta been styling her? Now I'm no fashion expert I'll happily admit, but I know when someone looks like they got dressed in the dark.

My friend Mandy put it best when she Facebooked: ‘Dear Cheryl Cole: Robot Wars rang - they want their spare parts back. Man Alive! What IS that???!!'

I never though this would happen, but Dannii Minogue is now my favourite female judge.

Not only has she out styled Cheryl every week [although they both got the hair right on Saturday night], but Dannii has turned it around b becoming more likeable and giving better comments than she ever did before.

She might not slag them off, but you can clearly tell who she likes who she and doesn't. She's clearly behind her acts as well.

Meanwhile, I'm finding Cheryl a little bit arsey. While I like people talking back to Simon Cowell when he's wrong I'm finding her just a touch too aggressive.

Anyway, back to the important part of the show. The choreography. No sorry, the singing, the choreography is just for John and Edward.

Opening the show we had Joe. Lovely boy, great voice, but he didn't suit rock week. It was a bit like Cliff Richard rocking out [Devil Woman aside] although I think he would be amazing in musicals. Also that couple dancing behind him was just plain weird. If Cheryl is right then ‘I just don't appreciate contemporary dance' and I can quite happily live with that.

While I know the judges raved about Lucie, I didn't buy her singing Sweet Child O'Mine. She seemed a bit too self-conscious and the outfit was a rock cliché. Having said that she did a god job with a hard song to sing. However, Lucie, if the twins to be believed, I am the only Avril Lavinge-alike round here.

Poor, poor Danyl. That was a broken man up on stage. His singing at the start was out of tune although he did pull it back at the end.

As you know I've always been a fan of Danyl. I get Cheryl's point that he should have come out fighting like Rachel did, but his circumstances are a little different.

I don't think anyone could seriously compare people's dislike of him to people's hatred of Hitler, but he's taken a bit of a battering. Yes, the Twins have too, but not about their personalities so much, more on the fact that they are rubbish.

Why did Cheryl pick I Kissed A Girl for Lloyd? I'm with Louis Walsh on this one - it is not a rock song. Also it's not a boy's song and really can't be changed to sound like one.

If that wasn't enough, his voice wasn't either good enough or powerful enough to sing it. I think he's very sweet and pretty and I completely get why all the girls like him, but no, no, no. A thousand times no.

I'm not convinced Keane are rock either, but I'll let it pass. Stacey did a good job and even moved around on stage. Although the amazement of her walking was a little over the top.

I love Stacey, I don't see how you can't, but I now really want to see her do something other than a ballad.

I don't know what to say about Jamie. I've been a fan of him from the start and rock is his thing, but he didn't wow me on rock week. I think it was the wrong song choice to really show off his abilities. Nice highlights in the afro though.

The Rachel come back is gathering pace this week's her performance was brilliant and the look was spot on. Dark horse this one. I predict good things.

They were out of tune, out of time and I think they may have even got the words wrong. Another week, another car crash from John and Edward. Their outfits were awful and so were they. Stop it people.

I had come round to the idea that the show needed them for some extra entertainment, but even that novelty is wearing off now.

When you think about it, it's Brian Friedman, the stylist and Louis Walsh who deserves the praise for the entertaining dance routines [I did like the pretend crowd surf]. It seems you can polish a turd, but only to a point.

Finally up tonight was Olly who I think was amazing. The Perspex steps also got another outing too. I did struggle a little with him trying to be overly sexy, but so far most of my female and gay friends have really appreciated the hairy chest flash.

My money is now on Olly to win. I just hope that isn't the curse of death.