Saturday, 17 January 2009

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Celeb Big Brother: Big Mouth Strikes Again

It's ladies night in the Big Brother house and it's two for the price of one...

Tina Malone: Does my bum look big in this?

It was a tough call tonight to decide who I wanted to go. Mutya for example hadn’t offended me, but she’s said and done so little [moaning aside] that I don’t think you would notice if she left. She may have survived the chop, but it looks pretty much like she’s out of the door tonight of her own accord anyway. Oh well. Two for the price of one.

My dislike for Ulrika grows by the day, but there’s something about torturing her by keeping her, and her ego, in the houe and making her earn her over inflated fee that appeals.

Michelle also continues to grate. I can’t bear all her moaning about Coolio winding her up and breaking down in tears every few minutes. She's so desperate to win it’s embarrassing. Did you see the way she could barely stopped smiling when they announced she was safe tonight?

I can’t work out if she’s trying to go for the sympathy vote with her 'Coolio's bullying me' trauma, or if she’s insanely sensitive about her relationship seeing as, according to her soon-to-be ex husband, she cheated on him several times. Either way I would be happy to see her go .

However, it was Tina who bit the dust tonight. Resembling a Viz cartoon, Tina bellowed, swore and ranted her way through two long weeks on the show. There would be points when I found her really funny and she could be very kind. Then she would go and ruin it all by slagging someone off for doing something that she was also guilty of. I could also have done without her revealing that she: ‘needed to lose some weight off my fanny.’ Again, nice.

The house will be quieter without her, but it will hopefully mean we get to see some more of the other characters and it's not like Coolio can't make up for the lack of volume.

Now while I don’t like Coolio referring to women as ‘hos’ and ‘bitches’ and there is a strong chance he could be a complete misogynist, I still kind of like him. I don’t think he’s been bullying housemates and he is quite often right, take for example the debacle that was the shopping list.

Have they not watched Big Brother before? It always ends in disaster when people start wanting their own money. With a basic budget it means you’re essentially living on beans. It is childish.

I’m with the boys [minus Tommy]. The girls are obsessed about the men being bastards [they even bitched about Verne and Ben for heaven’s sake] when they can’t complain considering half of them nominated each other. It is beyond me.

My favourite moment of the series so far goes to Verne tonight for deliberately driving his scooter into the diary room door. I also loved the way none of the women knew how to take him when he was pissed and the way he was also trying to get into La Toya’s knickers. Damn he is smooth.