Celeb Big Brother: The fame game

The celebs demonstrate why they're famous - some more successfully than others...

La Toya Jackson

La Toya Jackson is really growing on me. She seems not only very sweet, but a bit like a frightened mouse trying very, very hard not to be so shy. I think she must assume the cameras aren’t on all the time as I was amazed at her being so honest about being a victim of domestic abuse. I also felt for her when she obviously didn’t know when to look when Coolio was regaling them with stories of his sex life [including a threesome when he was 12] for over 37 minutes. Something I too could have done without.

Although having said that he’s not the only one revealing more personal details than my stomach can handle. While I like Tina’s forthrightness, I could do without her revealing that she has: ‘a great tight arse, shit tits and a great minge.’ Nice. Apart from that though, she does make me laugh, but I wouldn’t want to annoy her for fear of getting a slap.

I always like it when BB asks the celebs to showcase their talents - often because they don't really have any. However, this year had a surprising number of talented people. My personal favourites were Ben and Mutya who proved that, despite being in girl/boy bands, they could actually sing. I liked Tommy’s stirring speech and although Verne let the side down a little [no pun intended] his Romeo and Juliet with Tina wasn’t as painful as it could have been. Even Ulrika won me around a little bit with her self knowing honesty.

However, if Michelle was looking to relaunch her singing career I can’t imagine the phone will be ringing with offers any time soon. She was embarrassingly bad and didn’t even rock the latex look. I do wonder if that was really why she was crying earlier was actually because she was really scared that she was about to be found out.

The other shameful performance was from Lucy Pinder, who not only didn’t sound as smart as she makes out, but refused to stand there in a bikini despite the fact that, that is how she earns her living. I’m actually even starting to like Terry Christian for putting her up for eviction.