Disappear please

Peaches Geldof shows herself to be a spoil little brat in a new reality TV show...

Peaches Geldof - writer, model, DJ, presenter and world class brat

A few months ago I was shocked when an industry e mail went round with an announcement on it for a new magazine called Disappear Here with Peaches Geldof as Editor In Chief. I was amazed. Who the hell had made the little jumped up madam the editor of a magazine? I soon discovered that the publishing world had not gone mad in my absence, it was actually all for an MTV reality TV show. Strangely enough made by her dad’s production company. Nepotism at its finest.

It may already be obvious to you that I am not a fan of Peaches Geldof. I personally think of her as a pretentious, jumped up, egotistical, obnoxious, bratty, snobby, irritating, talentless oxygen thief. I have no problem with any of her sisters, in fact I quite like Pixie, but they seem to all have a little bit more humility than her.

What I don’t understand is why she seems to think she is a writer with the talent of, say, Sylvia Plath? I couldn’t believe my ears when she rudely told one of her staff that his feature sounded like GCSE English. This from a girl who only got a job writing for a paper because of who her parents were. I’m sure she can string more than a sentence together, but how many 14-year-olds without famous parents do you know who get given their own newspaper column? She then lies that the whole team says he can’t write when it’s actually just her. It’s not semantics as she claims, it’s just her being rude.

Also if I were one of the writers I would not take criticism from someone who has not only never worked full-time on a magazine, but one who produces a ‘manifesto’ for how it should be like an overly pretentious teenager.

When one of her staff arrives late for an interview with Tim Burgess of The Charlatans, she tells him that the first rule of interviewing is never be late. No Peaches, while that is very important the first rule is actually have good questions. For example don’t ask him where his band’s name comes from when the band have been knocking around for over ten years.

Peaches, so desperate to be thought of as a visionary, refused to let certain bands such as The Kooks, appear in the magazine. Now I don’t like The Kooks much, but when you’re taking advice from the lead singer of a band about what’s cool and cutting edge when he looks like a reject from Towers Of London, maybe you have to have a bit of a rethink? Oh Peaches, you are so leftfield by having Mark Ronson and the Klaxons in your magazine. Even my 65-year-old mum knows who they are for crying out loud.

If we didn’t put people in Now magazine that I didn’t like [e.g Kerry Katona, Jodie Marsh] there would be some empty pages. However, just because I don’t like them, doesn’t mean they’re not interesting or worth featuring. Something Peaches needs to realise if she ever wants to shift a copy of her magazine outside her circle of hanger-on friends.

The programme was particularly painful to watch, but the whole experience wasn’t helped by her almost monotone commentary over the entire show. It didn’t help that she stopped the flow of the show to put her oar in every time one of her staff slagged her off, as if the audience can’t think for themselves.

It’s a happy ending though when Peaches concludes that seven weeks after finishing the dummy her ‘mentor’ James Brown has not returned her calls and no publisher has yet signed on to take the title. I hope the staff get jobs in the industry, but Peaches should just stick to her day job. That would be if she had one. In which case please go away Peaches and come back when you’ve grown up a bit.