Tuesday, 7 October 2008

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The X Factor: The final 12

The tears flow as Dannii, Cheryl, Simon and Louis pick their final 12...

It’s Sunday night and I’ve got my blow up armbands on, waiting for the flood of tears to come washing over me from the final 24 X Factor hopefuls. They didn't disappoint as they cried for Britain and, as always, it was the boys who blubbed more. Now I’m all for a new man who is touch with his feelings, but sobbing on TV to the extent that some of them did was just undignified. Pull yourself together man!

I would also like to issue a plea at this stage of the competition to ban the words ‘dream’ and ‘journey’. With this small change to proceedings we could cut the length of the show by at least ten minutes.

In general I think the judges made the right decisions. I felt sorry for Louis’ lot when they realised rather than Barbados they had actually landed a trip to Ireland. Woo hoo. Bad Lashes definitely deserved to get a place over Desire, JLS were a dead cert and Priority were disappointing. I would rather 4 Instinct had gone through over Girlband, but I get that 4 Instinct may not have been quite ready for the competition. Shame though.

As for Simon’s boys Eoghan Quigg is my current favourite. I liked Austin, although he was a tad desperate. Scott is OK, but I’m not sure. I think I would rather have had Liam Payne instead. Also I really liked Mali, but he blew it at the final hurdle, which was a real shame. I’m glad Alan Turner didn’t get through though. Not only does he have the same name as a soap character, but something about him just didn’t feel right. I did, however, love Sinitta turning up in a gold swimming costume. The woman is clearly quite mental, but in an endearing way.

I think Cheryl made the right choices by going for a couple of the more quirky girls, but I think she had the toughest choices to make even though a lot of them crumbled in front of her. I really like Diana Vickers, but I’m hoping she loses that lipstick in the makeover stages.

Meanwhile, Dannii made the best of a bad lot, by picking the best stories. However, while he seems to be a lovely bloke, Daniel Evans has a touch of the Steve Brookstein’s about him and I’m not keen on Rachel, although I will admit she has a good voice.

Now I must address some comments on my last blog briefly. May I point out that I did not at any point say that Dannii had a face like a bag of smashed crabs. Dannii is pretty in the same way a doll is pretty. And often expressionless. Nor did I say that she wasn’t a good judge, I only said that I preferred Cheryl.

I would like to thank the people who wrote nice comments [you will be saved when the revolution comes] and I’m happy to receive all comments good or bad - after all I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. However, I am confident in the fact that I am a devastating beauty and can therefore comment on anyone else’s looks if I so wish. That is after all what I’m paid for. Sticks and stones, sticks and stones.