Tuesday, 30 September 2008

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The X Factor: Boot camp blues

The judges find out their categories and Cheryl kicks Dannii's arse...

The X Factor's Cheryl Cole compliments Simon Cowell on his man boobs

I’ve resisted writing about The X Factor so far because I wanted to get the auditions out of the way before making any judgements.

After all as always the auditions this year was just more of the same. Sob stories? Check! Fake sob stories? Check! Judges crying at sob stories? Check! Simon Cowell spouting the same clichés including: ‘These are the best auditions yet.’ ‘I think we may have found our winner.’ ‘That is the worst rendition of [insert song title here] I have ever heard.’? Check! Random auditionee who strangely fancies Louis Walsh and isn’t a man? Check! Female judge getting flirty with male contestant? Check! Judges putting through friendly OAP despite them having no chance of getting past the boot camp stage? Check! Tone deaf wannabes who should really be in some kind of community care, but instead they’re on our TVs for us to laugh at? Check!

Anyway, that aside Cheryl Cole has definitely given the show a much needed kick up the arse required after Sharon Osbourne’s departure. This is made all the better for it clearly annoying the hell out of Dannii ‘my face can no longer make any expression other than startled’ Minogue.

Reports suggest Dannii is upset because not only is Cheryl younger and better looking than her, but because Cheryl gets more air time than she does. Three facts that can’t be denied. However, the reason Cheryl gets more airtime is because she’s a darn sight more interesting and sincere than Dannii ever was.

I think the right choices were made at Boot Camp and not just which hopefuls went through, but which groups the judges got.

Louis, in theory, should do well with the groups because by the law of averages there has to be a good one considering previous year's poor showings [Same Difference aside, but taking Journey South into consideration]. Simon has a good chance too with the boys if he goes for the George Sampson affect and champions a younger hopeful who can get the powerful tween market. Meanwhile, Cheryl is possibly my favourite at the moment after landing the girls.

However, way behind at the back of the field, is Dannii stuck with the over 25s. Even her manic laughter and insistence that this was the group she wanted failed to mask her annoyance. Well, they couldn’t have her winning a second year in a row now could they? Sharon Osbourne must be cackling her head off right now.