Model behaviour

America's Next Top Model returns and the bitching begins...

America's Next Top Model's Tyra Banks

I’ve always been a big fan of the Next Top Model franchise. Admittedly my love for the supermodel showdown increased once the British version of the show took me to both Marakech and Rio [yes, my friends, I am that easily brought. To be honest a pint of lager will usually do the trick]. However, I feel my addiction has now got out of hand.

I am currently enjoying not only cycle 10 of America’s Next Top Model, but also Australia’s Next Top Model and Canada’s Next Top Model. Thank you Living! Now you might think all these shows are exactly the same, but I can assure you there are some very big differences country to country.

To begin with Australia’s Next Top Model bring a whole new level of bitching. It’s not just the girls either, the judges are far harsher and unlike all the other versions you actually get to hear what they say when discussing which model should leave. Meanwhile, the girls are just plain nasty – which I love! The wannabe model who got chucked out last week was a manipulative bitch of the highest order. I almost cheered when she left.

Now I may be wrong, but there seems to be one clear winner - uber skinny, auburn haired Alice. She has not only the most obvious natural model she is also the most insipid and dull of all the girls. Surely therefore perfect model material!

Over on Canada’s Next Top Model something about it gives it he feel that it was done on about half the budget. While the girls in Australia win rather expensive jewellery for coming out top in a challenge, over in Canada they get a signed book. Wow. There’s a bit of bitching amongst the girls, but not the Olympic standards I have seen elsewhere.

Meanwhile, America’s Next Top Model still proves it is not only the original, but the best. Tyra is still particularly mental and self obsessed. The girls appear to want to claw each other’s eyes out after about five minutes and as always we have our sob story. One of the girls this time round is from Somalia and when she was seven-years-old was circumcised which quite frankly sounds horrific.

Whichever country’s version of the show you pick to watch it gives you an excuse to pull apart pretty girls and sum up that actually they’re all not all that really. It’s great fun. Although, as I’ve said before, if they weren’t height and age fascists clearly I would win by a mile. As Tyra herself once said, they can kiss my fat ass!