Fighting fit

Can you feel the power of The Gladiators? I can...

Gladiators: Atlas

Who’d have thought it – Gladiators is great. Not only is it so camp it hurts [especially Atlas] and all round family entertainment, but it’s actually as good fun as the original was.

When it comes to the blokes, I don’t think there is one neck in the building and their thighs are so big they must get terrible inner thigh rub in the summer months.

I’m also slightly concerned about the make up the female Gladiators wear. No matter how many times they’re dunked n the pool it doesn’t budge. It’s like they’ve used Hammerite as eye shadow.

I feel sorry for Battleaxe getting landed with the least flattering moniker and also for Ice, who looks remarkably like Grace Adam’s Stuart of Big Brother fame.

I love the fact that in the episode I’ve just seen the contenders are sometimes hopelessly matched with Gladiators who are about twice their size. However, there was something strangely enjoyable watching about the cocky, stocky male contender getting his arse whipped in the eliminator by a smaller skinner bloke. There is some justice in the world.

My only complaint is while Kirsty Gallagher does a competent job, [despite this interviewing gem: Kirsty: ‘You put up a good fight there but it just didn’t happen did it?’ Contender: ‘No’] Ian Wright is rubbish. The man tries to make up his lack of ability at reading an autocue by shouting. A lot. John Fashanu come back, all is forgiven.