Saturday, 12 April 2008

Got talent?

The freaks are out in force for Britain's Got Talent...

Britain’s Got Talent. Hmmm, I’m not so sure. I know millions will have tuned in and loved the weird and slightly wonderful acts, but quite frankly I found it all strangely depressing.

Yes the weirdos were very weird, but maybe I’ve watched too many audition shows because I found it all a bit painful.

Oh yes, very funny, put through the appalling keyboard player just to annoy Simon. Very old lady lies on a bed of nails. Yawn.

Even if the acts did have some talent it wasn’t exactly show stopping. Yes the girl with the dog was very clever, but seeing it once was enough. The choir boy could sing in the way choir boys can and while he may have been very good, I found it sad that he felt he needed to point out that he ha been bullied over it.

Could it be something to do with the fact that a sob story usually takes you further than actual talent?

Simon Cowell would have it known that I am a London snob for not lapping it up, but this isn’t true. I have endured enough holiday camps through my childhood to acquire a festering hatred for bad ‘light entertainment’.

There is often a good reason these people aren't famous and it all begins with the amount of lycra and shiny suits they insist on wearing. I think it says something that a lot of the clubs that show these sort of acts are shutting down. Sad, but true.

Also note for Amanda Holden – please stop going on about having appeared on the West End stage when, if I remember rightly, you were rubbish and you really shouldn’t boast.

I’m sorry, I’m sure there are some great acts coming up and some genuine talent will emerge that struggle to find a suitable stage to shine on, but cut the crap and sob stories please.