Wednesday, 9 April 2008

• Prev
• Next

Dog's dinner

The Apprentice hopefuls prove they couldn't organise a p*** up in a brewery...

They’re not getting any better on The Apprentice now are they? The way each winning team has celebrated every week you would have thought they had proved themselves the business brains of the century, rather than just marginally less rubbish than the other team.

The girls team may have won the pub task, but they were pretty useless. Curry would have been a good idea, if anyone actually knew how to cook it. Jenny proved she was as vile as ever and everyone showed they were out for themselves and had no intention of working as a team.

However, one Apprentice sprung forward as my favourite and that was Helene. She seemed to be the only one who could see sense and realised that if they actually put their egos aside and worked together they might be able to achieve something rather than the embarrassing mess they’ve managed so far.

Over on the boys team, Michael made himself look like a total tool by singing out of tune. No change there then.

Ian was a rubbish leader and deserved the sack by proving himself to be a total David Brent, coming out with utter bollocks business speak, not to mention buying all the food from a supermarket rather than a wholesalers.

Lee showed that not only was he thick by not being able to spell the word accent, but has now started referring to himself in the third person, which is always a very bad sign. He also sounds like an angry football hooligan who’ll give you a slap if you don’t buy what he’s selling.

Meanwhile, Rafe was his usual ridiculous self with the suggestion that they all put on fake Italian accents. Classy.

However, I would like to save a special mention for Kevin, who was not only an appalling cook, but came out with the classic reason for being able to cook Italian food is because he eats it a lot. Of course. I went round the Houses Of Parliament once, so I’m pretty sure I could be Prime Minister. Idiots, one and all.