Friday, 21 March 2008

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Death becomes her

Tanya carries out a less than perfect murder...

People in EastEnders aren’t very good at murder. Not only do they more often than not get caught, but they always end up leaving a huge trail of clues and witnesses and Tanya and Sean are no different. Don't they watch CSI, or at the very least Quincy?

It all started with Stacey noticing that Sean was acting even more shifty than usual, which for the twitching potential psychopath was pretty impressive.

I’m not quite sure what Tanya is hoping her alibi is going to be considering she looked like a woman possessed when she ushered the girls out for their evening with Bradley.

I'm also intrigued to find out how she's going to explain where Max has vanished to after their ‘romantic’ dinner and how she plans on explaining away where she’s been and why her coat is covered in half of Epping Forest?

That’s not the only trail of mud they need to worry about considering the huge stain Sean left in the kitchen as they dragged Max's limp body out of the house. Although I'm impressed that they managed to haul his body into the back of a van in the middle of East London with no one spotting them. My neighbour would have been on to the police in seconds.

Things then got even worse when they got to the woods and not only did they did the shallowest grave in the world, but they did it about 20ft from the main road. Clever.

But hang on, there's more. Tanya then fell into the trap of making the mistake every Bond villain before her has by rather than just killing Max when she had the chance insisting on burying him alive. Admittedly he would have to be Houdini to escape, but it still doesn’t seem the most full proof of plans.

To be honest, I wouldn’t trust Sean as an accomplice considering the haunted look in his eyes and although I can see how Tanya would gleefully strangle Max but burying him alive does seem to be stretching believability just a touch.

Then again this is soapland where Minty can go from a slum landlord, to a lovable fool and Ian Beale has managed to get married four times, so really anything goes I suppose.