Friday, 4 December 2009

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Sex and the Style Editor

Alison Tay

Morning-after disaster

Don’t have sex before reading this

Having a love-in with JLS isn't on my list of 29 things to do before I have children. But it should be.

Last week, my phone rang and this happened:
"Hello, is that Alison Tay? It's the press office for [morning-after pill] Levonelle One Step. We've been trying to get hold of you."

Gulp!

Fortunately they weren't privy to my medical records, and were actually phoning to pimp out a new survey of 29 things to do before you have your first child, which they promised to email over.

That was a week ago, and the list still hasn't arrived so in the mean time, I've written my own. Lucky it wasn't an emergency.

1. Become a cheerleader
2. Learn how to breakdance
3. Meet your idol
4.Sleep with a rockstar (responsibly)
5. Go backstage at Glastonbury
6.Get rapped to by Dizzee Rascal
7. Go to circus school
8. Appear in Rolling Stone magazine
9. Go to Woodstock, New York
10. Get dumped on Facebook
11. Get styled by Gok Wan
12.Hold a 15-ft boa constrictor belonging to the Godfather of drum 'n' bass
13. Own a designer handbag that costs the same as a mortgage repayment
14. Learn Italian
15.Have an Latin lover
16. Have your heart broken by your Latin lover
17. Date a male model
18. Play in an orchestra at the Royal Albert Hall
19. Perform on stage at the London Palladium
20. Have a private dance lesson with a Strictly Come Dancing pro
21. Fly to New York on a private jet
22. Have a song written about you
23. Be photographed by Rankin
24. Get serenaded to by Michael Buble
25. Know how to knit
26. Know how to bake
27. Write a book
28. Go on tour with a male strip troupe
29. Chase the dream, not the competition

Disagree? Let me know what's on your list...