
Kelly Brook has revealed her lust list. Ms Brook is after “someone who’s down to earth, funny, good in bed, handsome. Actually, just handsome will do. I’m really shallow at the moment. I’m at that age when I just don’t want anything challenging. I haven’t got the energy. As long as they’re cute, I’m there. And the less they have to say for themselves, the better.”
Inspired by Kelly, I’ve decided to draw up a lust list of my own. And funnily enough, the stamina of 20 year-old, fly-half Danny Cipriani, the testosterone levels of Billy Zane and the hardman attributes of Jason Statham didn’t make the top 10.
My Lust List
1. Must inspire me
2. Must push boundaries in whatever he does. Being named by The Evening Standard as one of the most influential creative forces in London isn’t a prerequisite, but it certainly doesn’t hurt either
3. Must own a BMX
4. Must be a male model or a fashion boy. Bonus points for a Northern accent
5. Must have a really good look. It doesn’t really matter what that look is but it tends to involve Ray Ban Wayfarers, a tuxedo jacket, and attention to detail when it comes to footwear (Not to be confused with being good looking. Which, by the way, isn’t on my list.)
6. Must be able to break dance
7. Must be in possession of an acoustic guitar or baby grand and the skills to serenade me with it
8. Must appreciate my extensive collection of Agent Provocateur underwear (The Last Boyfriend hated it. “Too studied.” Whatever.)
9. Must let me listen to Michael Buble occasionally and in return, I’ll learn to love Bono, not freak out when you play your polemic indie folk Devendra Barnhart album, and promise never to confuse Beck with Becks ever again
10. Must find Ben Stiller hilarious, understand that Zoolander isn’t just a movie, it’s my life, and think Shaun Of The Dead is a work of cult cinematic genius
Is that too much to ask?
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