A message for the BBC: Why do you insist on hiding the Olympic male swimmers’ bodies from us?
Nope. I think I speak for the women of the nation when I say that the sight of a man who has spent YEARS honing his body to God-like perfection, wearing just a tiny pair of briefs, is one that should be enjoyed. Worshipped, even.
So, I doubt I'm the only one who has noticed that the BBC are being big, fat spoilsports. Literally.
I was glued to my sofa waiting for the first interview with Michael Phelps after his epic race to Olympic medal-record-breaking victory...only to experience a serious case of damp squib.
There he was, dripping with water, standing half-naked in all his glory - only for the cameraman to insist on MERELY showing us his head and shoulders throughout.
Would it have been so much to ask the BBC - a company we pay a healthy licence fee to maintain - to gratuitously pan out a bit and reveal a flash of his incredible torso? Would it?
I know, I know, any man reading this will already be muttering ‘well that's bloody sexist. I bet you wouldn't like it if a man wrote this about one of the female swimmers.'
Well that, Sir, is where you'd be wrong.
These athletes have spent their entire careers working to perfect their bodies to world-class standard. OF COURSE they want the world to admire them. That's not a gender issue, it's just a fact.
And it you're still not convinced, I've got three words for you guys: Women's beach volleyball.
BBC executives, I'll be watching the men's swimming 200m individual medley final on Thursday night and I'll expect to notice some serious changes.