Karma’s a bitch eh, Ashley Cole? Cheryl must be delighted
But, along with 23 million other people around Britain last night, I decided to tune in to the Euro 2012 cup quarter finals, put on a red England football shirt and get all patriotic.
My observations? Let's face it, it was no X Factor final but there were a few pertinent things I noticed (that annoyed every man in the room as we watched it):
1. Steven Gerrard had the best hair - thank God Stevie G has managed to swerve the latest footballer trend for a Shave of Shame cut (see Wayne Rooney's shocking mop here).
2. Wayne Rooney needs to get fitter and lose some of the flab (he was sweating before the game even started, what's that all about?)
3. Goalie Joe Hart is h-o-t, in a good way (where's he been hiding?).
But the best part of the whole show, sorry GAME, was the moment when love rat Ashley took his penalty shot.
Smug and confident, the little weasel stood and stared at the Italian goalkeeper for an awkwardly long amount of time, with the kind of attitude that stinks of a man who thinks the world owes him a favour.
Then he took his kick...
And while my friends were screaming and covering their hands in shock when he failed to get the ball in the net, I'm afraid I was punching the air.
Of all the footballers to miss the shot, what a shame it had to happen to such a nice guy, eh?
Obviously I went straight on to Twitter to see if Cheryl Cole had decided to seize this moment and revel in her cheating ex husband's downfall.
But, no, of course she didn't.
Because when it comes to revenge, keeping your mouth shut and quietly enjoying your own success is much more delicious.
Earlier in the day Cheryl tweeted: ‘Wow.. What a day/week single and Album both no2 this week..:D!! Thank you so much. Love you loads *bbmhugface*#grouphug #SoldierPower).' Case. In. Point.
In your face, Ashley Cole.
Oh and by the way, your new hair looks ridiculous.