Why One Direction's Louis Tomlinson should be gay
It's no secret that gay guys love all men (with a few exceptions) but a straight guy who absolutely should be one of us is irresistible. Let's look at the evidence...
The self-confessed fashion junkie's by far the most stylish member of the boy band. In fact, he might be one of the best-dressed men on the planet.
No one can rock braces, Breton stripes and bright-coloured chinos like Louis Tomlinson.
No, you don't have to be gay to put together a killer outfit, but we can do it faster.
The bromance thing Louis Tomlinson's got going on with Harry Styles - dubbed Larry Stylinson by some 1D fans - would be that much cuter if he was gay too, showing straight men everywhere that there's nothing more valuable than a gay wingman.
I can't think of a girl out there whose heart wouldn't melt at a genuinely platonic hetero-homo friendship.
And in my opinion, Louis's going to age better than the rest of One Direction.
It doesn't matter what type of gay you are - twink, bear, circuit queen etc - wrinkles are just wrong.
A boy who will never have the need for Botox is a highly-prized asset that ensures a long and illustrious career in the gay community.
My prediction's that while Harry Styles might lose his locks to male pattern baldness and Niall Horan could shrivel and shrink into something Louis Walsh-esque, I reckon that Louis Tomlinson will sail through middle age straight into silver fox territory. Look out, George Clooney.
In conclusion, Louis Tomlinson should be gay, because well, I have a major crush on him.
Soz girlfriend Eleanor Calder, he would be better off on the gay side of the fence.