I love One Direction - but who would ever want to be their girlfriend?
I even remember interviewing Liam Payne the first time he did The X Factor - when he was just 14. I actually spoke to his headmaster - so there was no chance I was going to jump on the One Direction bandwagon without feeling like some kind of pervert.
But fast forward to 2012 and slowly but surely it got me.
It started at Sony's Brits aftershow party in February. After 20 minutes circulating Harry Styles, I finally seized my chance to swoop in for a chat. But instead of a hard grilling, I found myself looking at this Robbie Williams-style rebel, and - I'm ashamed to say - twizzling my hair, giving my best smile and apologising profusely as I slipped in the obligatory Caroline Flack question.
The regression to teenagedom continued last week when in news conference we were shown pictures of the boys heading through an airport on the ipad. In a severe case of hot man tourettes, I heard myself yell: Harry looks fit in that t-shirt!' before making a grab for the tablet so I could zoom in.
But it was last Saturday when I realised I'd really fallen down the rabbit hole.
In the interval for The X Factor tour, up popped a video of the boys. And there I sat, transfixed, realising a disturbing and disorientating fact - I fancied them all.
Yes, even Niall Horan, who only seems to be popular with the clean cut Americans - not 32-year-old women like myself who really should know better.
I can only assume these boys have some kind of collective superpower that makes women fall in love with them. I mean, even Michelle Obama, has cheekily invited them to the White House (allegedly for her daughters, but we've got your number Mrs O).
All this brings me to my main point: hot as they may be - I feel sorry for their girlfriends.
It should be any girl's dream to date a One Direction boy - but it seems it's actually a nightmare.
First up, of course, poor Caroline Flack. I love the Flackster. And I love her more for paving the way for women my age to admit they can still fancy the socks off a teenage boy.
I will never knock Caroline for falling for Harry. But boy, wasn't she made to pay for a few nights of passion?: The death threats, the hate tweets and the knowledge that she'll be constantly likened to Mrs Robinson.
I really hope Harry was worth it (but of course it was, you can see the naughty glint in his eyes).
Then there's Liam Payne and his poor girlfriend backing dancer Danielle Peazer. One Direction fans have set upon her like a pack of green-eyed monsters - with rabies.
Haters have called her ugly, sent death threats (it gets old, guys) and falsely accused her of cheating on her man. The truth is they've been dating for absolutely yonks - she was even linked to him way back when they were on The X Factor in 2010.
Then comes Eleanor Calder, the pretty model dating (the getting fitter with age) Louis Tomlinson. She's had to withstand all the old hate Tweets and even had to put up with (humourless) Americans believing Louis was dating Harry.
Even Rebecca Ferguson who dated Zayn Malik back last year was not immune to the abuse - later admitting they'd been driven apart by haters who said it was wrong she was dating a man six years' her junior.
It's only Niall - who has managed to say single to the best of our knowledge - that hasn't inadvertently made some poor lady's life hell.
On top, you've got the entire female population throwing themselves at your man - and we just know Kim Kardashian's probably lining Harry up as her next husband as we speak.
So next time we watch a video of the boys singing What Makes You Beautiful, and see pictures of them cosying up to their pretty, leggy girlfriends, we should realise just how lucky we are not to be in those girls' shoes.
And if that doesn't quite do the trick - just remember the girls will go grey with the stress soon ...
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